this is what you get when you sleep late

i will write about 2 realizations today. well, i already know about them before but these things became highlighted yesterday.
first is about what 3 guys told me, 'lust for one woman can never be satisfied with another woman.' hhhmmmm... that is why guys can never be monogamous. i am not saying that guys should, though i'm only saying that this is the reason why most married men 'sway'. this is just like saying that if you're craving for a siomai, shawarma could never satisfy that. after a few hours that the hunger has been satiated, you start drooling again for siomai. and by the way, it's not the guys. girls, too, suffer this feeling once in a while. there's just this feeling of something for a particular someone that you can never feel with another person. and lusting for someone can happen too, not just the feeling of spark, intensity or electricity.
Next, when a girl wants to find someone permanent, she realizes many things. 1) The good guys are already taken. 2) The good guys who are not taken, do not suit your taste. 3) The good guys who are not taken and who suit your taste find you not suitable for their taste 4) The good guys who are not taken and who suit your taste, find you suitable only for fornication. 5) Then the rest of the guys are either gay or priests. What does a girl do? Would she settle for someone really not satisfactory for her preference? Or would she settle only for the 'temporary' thing?

Jessica Zafra

I'm reading Jessica Zafra's book. I really admire her wit, sarcasm and bitchiness. Mind you, we have some commonalities. We drool over Keanu Reeves even if we know that his sexual preference is... (let's say) interesting. And we both are bitches. I am one of her hated people though--I smoke. Her outlook on things is just so different that sometimes I wish I could be like her.

tired...

I am so tired. Not my physical body, but my mind, my heart, my soul. And it would consume my physical strength. I have so many why's, so many heartaches, so many worries, so many hang-ups.

I hope all would end... they would stop.

Remembering past hurt...

Today, I, again, retold my story. Remembering past hurt doesn't hurt that much as before. However it would make you realize how stupid and dumb you have been, how cruel were those persons who hurt you and how unfair life had been.

Tears wouldn't fall because of the hurt that you feel but of pity on your past pathetic self. You cry of how foolish and gullible you have been. You cry of the anger not on the other people who hve hurt you but on yourself.

...and you cry because you don't want to cry but you just can't stop the tears.

Guy Magnet

Yes, I am a guy-magnet- but the wrong sort of guys. All the wrong guys, you name it. Jerks, perverts, maniacs, sexually-famished guys, married guys, dirty old men, etc.

I need to prove my claim, right? While I was waiting for a jeepney to the office, here's this guy going to and fro in front of me. Then he finally settled about 2 meters behind me which really freaked me out. I thought he was a hold-upper. So, I said in a very ordinary manner, 'Hold-up-on ko nimo? Wala ko'y kuwarta. Sorry.' In answer, he mumbled a few words which I found hard to hear. I asked, 'Unsa? I wasn't able to hear what you said.' He mumbled his words again but this time the message was clear. 'blah, blah, blah. Mag-M lang ko.' A guy just said he will do-his-own in front of me at the side of the street in front of our boarding house! The red lights are blinking now, but I just replied, 'Ahh ok... Magpalayo lang ko ha?'

You could not attribute that to what I was wearing. I was just dressed in a simple conservative blue blouse, jeans, rubber shoes and a cap. I don't know what I'm going to think. Maybe I am just a guy-magnet.

wrong, wrong, wrong...

Today started out wrong and will end wrong. All things came wrong. First, I was almost late for work and I took a taxi even if it's out of my budget. Second, my boss caught me sleeping (when really meant to sleep to ebb the pain in my stomach due to hyperacidity). Third, my boss(again!) reprimanded me on openning personal stuff in the Internet even if I'm already clocked out(he said I'm consuming bandwidth). Fourth, the first person I hired told me that he will be resigning because his family will be relocating to Singapore. Fifth, my back is killing me. Sixth, I still have to do my laundry and we don't have water in the house. Seventh, I have 3 assignments unfinished for our training.

I don't know if I'm still dizzy in effect of the medicine that I took this morning or because of all the wrong things today. I'm tired.

Duh!

I am, as of the moment, idle. Jut a little bored, I think. Are you?